My Granny

Friday, December 07, 2018

On November 15th, my life and foundation as I know it shifted more than I was mentally prepared for. My Granny passed away at the age of 81. I felt like she still had so much life to live, I thought she would live to see 100! I really did. My Granny was sick and medical professionals had given her 6 months to a year to live but I had faith in God that she would live much longer. She often expressed to my family how tired she was. She was not afraid of death and she was excited to go to Heaven. 

But.....that didn't make any of this easier!!! 

My Granny has been a STAPLE in my life for my entire life. I don't know life without her silently cheering me on. I didn't go away to college, I instead went to community college and lived with my Granny for a few years before I turned 21. She was one of the most constant and consistent people in my life. My heart aches at the thought of never seeing her or holding her hand again.........MY GRANNY. 

My Granny was not just my Granny but she was the neighborhood Granny. She lived in the same house over 40 years! Almost all of my cousins and I, at some point in our lives, have lived in that house. It is OUR FOUNDATION. Her face, her voice, her energy, her love, her cooking, her has been the foundation of my life. Her death shook me to my core. My foundation feels shaken. Her living and breathing made me feel safe and secure. My faith is not shaken but my heart aches. 

Growing up, I had both my maternal Grandmommy and my Granny on my Dad's side.  I felt so loved as a child. My Grandmommy passed away from breast cancer when I was 10 years old. As a child I was devastated at the lost of my beautiful Granmommy, who called me her chocolate princess. I then was left with one Granny to cling to. As I have gotten older I recognized how special it is to be born into such loving families.  I thank God I know and have experienced my Grandparents love. It is truly something special. 

Random fact: I am even named after my Granny. My middle name is Christella 😉

When I had my daughter Farah, my Granny was right by my side. I was a broken woman who needed the nurturing and love of a Granny. I left the hospital and slept in the bed with my Granny for at least 2 weeks. She hugged me, prayed for me, cooked for me, and brought me back to life after losing my child. When it was time to do the March of Dimes walk to honor my angel, my Granny was right there!!! She was determined to join us! That's just who she was. A determined and loving Granny. 

I'm not sure why I wanted to write this, I am still processing what this means for my life. But, I thank God for this blog where I can just be. 

MY GRANNY. I miss her so much and I pray I make her proud. I know Heaven is more than she could have imagined!!!!

Christella Wynn
January 10, 1937 - November 15, 2018

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