TotallyTot | Creating Innovative Solutions for Everyday Women: #WomensHistoryMonth

#FunDaysWithTot - Friday, March 29, 2019

Becoming The Woman of God's Dreams - Meet Artyssa!

Can you believe that we are at the end of March? HOW?!?! Well, I have 2 more features for Women's History month! I am still f...

The celebration continues! All month long for Women's History month,

I am celebrating young women who are truly inspirational!

I first met Makayla Cephus last October. I happened to be in a room with her Mother and some other friends and they were watching her on FB Live. She was transparently telling her story of depression and her journey with it.

I was floored by her honesty and intrigued by her story. I immediately knew I wanted her on the blog. There's something so powerful about finding your voice and using it for the Kingdom of God! Makayla, at the mere age of 21 has done both! She fearlessly shares her journey and even has a book out out now. As I do with all of my guest bloggers, I invited Makayla to share with my readers....

In her own words:

I, Makayla Cephus, am here to tell you that you don't have to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts alone and it's never too late to give God your "Yes!"

My book is dedicated to those who currently battle depression and are tormented by suicidal thoughts. I desire to lead the parade in breaking the silence on such a horrendous emotional experience which can cripple and stagnant a life, if left untreated.

There are many who are suffering alone!
I was ignited and inspired by observing other moms who’ve experienced depression on a wide, diverse spectrum; including postpartum. Those heroic women gave me the courage to tell my story, in hopes that others will be fueled to tell their stories,
so, we all can gain strength.
With increased strength, we all win!

I was once that 17 year old girl who became a pregnant teen less than a month of being away at college, feeling as if it was the end of the world. I turned in my dorm room key around 1:30am Saturday morning, to move back home to Chicago IL, realizing that in life, it was no longer about me. Also, I needed to be around love and being so far away from my family took that feeling away from me. I worked and enrolled into a community college! Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was fired from my job and kicked out of school due to an $14,000 University debt. It was so hard for me to find a job that would fit my son and I availability and relying on government assistance was never to be apart of my plans. Of course my parents helped and coached me through my pregnancy, but in my heart, a roof over our head was more than enough to be thankful for!

I didn’t know exactly what postpartum was until I found myself crying all the time, disconnecting myself from my child, hanging with the wrong crowd and making drug use my escape from all of my problems. I was battling with demons in my head alone. I didn’t know how to explain what I was going through, so I dealt with it alone and suffered. In attempt of suicide, my plans to kill myself failed. Instead, I was able to hear God’s voice for direction when I thought he had given up on me from numerous mistakes ago. I’ve been forgiven, cleansed, made new and here today to tell you, you too can start over.

You can purchase your “There’s Life After Depression” to read the full story, beginning to end.

www.makaylamcephus.com

To my son, I’ve rejected you from the womb when I didn’t know any better. What I thought was a mistake turned to be my life’s biggest blessing. You have grown with me through the traumatic phases of my life to the better. You have taught me patience, virtue and worth. I break any rejection spirit, identity crisis, word curse or bloodline curse off of you. You are loved! You are a genius. You are vocal. You are a leader. You will do many great things in the earth. I am proud to be your Mommy!

#GuestBlogger - Sunday, March 17, 2019

Meet Makayla Cephus! Let's talk about depression!

The celebration continues! All month long for Women's History month, I am celebrating young women who are truly inspirational! ...

The celebration continues!!!

In honor of Women's History Month, I am continuing to highlight some amazing women here on the blog. I am blessed by many people, but my family by far is one of my greatest blessings!

Meet my awesome and amazing Auntie Cynthia!!! My Auntie Cynthia is my Mom's older sister. As long as I can remember my Aunt has been such a poised woman. As a kid, I would admire how she walked in heels in hopes that one day I too could strut so gracefully! lol!

On a serious note, I am thankful to that she is sharing parts of her journey.

In her own words....

Staying the Course...

How interesting it is that this is the topic for my expose in your blog!! My affirmation for 2018 is Never Give Up/NGU2018! Thanks for the reminder as we approach the end of the first quarter of 2018 already!!

My life in ministry began as a child being reared in the Pentecostal Church. It was not an option if you served or not. The option was — well sometimes there was an option — where will you serve? So I served in the youth ministry, youth choirs, played trumpet in the church band and Sunday School. Because we lived south and our church was west, we often attended other church activities that other children may not have participated in such as the business meetings. Now, I accepted the Lord as my personal Savior when I was about 9! I received the Holy Ghost with speaking in tongues at age 11. My desire to live for the Lord was passionate!! As a child and even a teen, living for Jesus was fun and interesting. Becoming an adult, I found my life spinning in circles of self-identity, self-worth, and value. I wasn’t sure who I really was. I still passionately loved the Lord and wanted to be who He wanted me to be based on my understanding of Him. Somehow, it wasn’t the same as my earlier years. Pray, fast and read your Bible is what I was taught to get through life's challenges; however, life’s challenges made it seem as if I should fast, pray and read 10 days a week 14 months a year!!

What I learned on this journey is that God really loved Cynthia just as she was — flaws and all! He wasn’t the rigid, angry disciplinarian waiting to crack my knuckles with the ruler or beat me with the belt or kick me into hell. How did I stay the course through ridicule from senior church leaders when I married quickly in an attempt to cover up my imperfections and a premarital pregnancy? How did I stay the course when my marriage failed 5 months in, seemingly proving the church folks right? How did I stay the course trying to identify with adult Cynthia without the “covering and protection” of my protective parents and overprotective spiritual leaders? I never stopped loving the Lord — I never stopped acknowledging His greatness in my life while I went through trials, making lots and lots of errors. I engaged people with impure motives, fell into deep depression, walked away from employment, didn’t complete college, and began to fall prey to government assistance and more.

Thank God for a praying mother!!! Oh, how I miss her but eternally thank God for the days she would come to my apartment and pray for me, pray with me! She rebuked the devil and prayed blood covering over my mind, body, and spirit. It’s interesting as I recall these details that I never considered myself a backslider — because I never ever stopped loving Jesus and didn’t give up my faith. I didn’t understand a lot of the journey but through reading and studying between the highs and lows, I gained a very personal relationship with the Lord. My imperfections continued in a quest for me to exercise compassion and forgiveness with others and to diminish the judgmental attitude I developed in my early walk with the Lord. I remarried my first husband and learned soooo much about myself and him that helps me immensely in ministry today. I remember once saying that certain events of my life were not God-ordained. What I came to realize is that if I hadn’t had those experiences I would not be the woman I am today, walking in the strength and peace of God. The sickness and death of my mother, sickness and death of my first husband, sickness and death of my father have each bred a tenacity of trusting God that I would never have known without those difficult times.

I’ve been in conflictive relationships with church folks, my siblings, and my children. The Lord, thank God, has taught (is teaching) me how to be “the me” He called me to be and stop looking at everyone else. In the words of my dear brother Sconi, “keep the focus on you!!” I never consider myself athletic or competitive; however, I’ve always felt compelled to be a great Christian. Staying the course has meant staying in the face of the Lord, hearing and receiving a relevant Word from Him and being engaged in prayer. So what does the transformation look like? I am true to Cynthia!!! Whew! That’s been a big part of the journey. I enjoy fun, laughter, harmonious relationships and respect for all. So my style of doing things is often different from some traditional norms. This is what has anchored my staying power. I respect and honor who God has created me to be—and I enjoy me and what I do. Lately, I’ve broken through some uncomfortable areas of growing ministry and this continues to grow my trust in God. I’m often reminded to trust God and love people. We have a habit of reversing those principles and becoming gravely disappointed, wounded, hurt and angry. As I learn to follow this process more often than not, my reactions and responses are different and I realize that God is governing my life and emotions. It keeps me staying the course!

Yes, I am human with feelings and emotions but they are not allowed to run me and cause me to run amuck. Proverbs 29:11 basically says that a fool gives full vent to their anger but the wise bring calm in the end. With all that I’m learning, I want to empower others — men, women, boys, girls, young, middle-aged and seasoned — so that the same mistakes aren’t made. My life experiences were/are not “just because;” they are because God has a purpose and plan for my life, to prosper and give me hope and bring me to a great future!

One thing I learned in my journey to truth, outside of traditions, is the unrealistic expectations and demands on the ministry leaders’ families. While everyone else enjoys vacations, sick days and the opportunity to put their families first, many ministry leadership families have been expected to serve and perform in excellence and with their “A” game regardless of personal stuff (family strife, death, illness, financial woes, etc.). Marriages have suffered; ministers’ children have walked away, not just from church, but also from God. Extended families feel neglected, social lives are non-existent or consist of church retreats, ministry luncheons and other church-related activities. And friends...what are those?? Seeing this imbalance while fighting for it in my own life, I always wanted a forum where the ministers’ families could release and rebuild in a safe environment for internal, personal and group healing and restoration.

Click Link Here To Register

The Lord is allowing me to host the first Ministerial Healing Symposium April 14, 2018. The environment will be loving, non-judgmental and comfortable — conducive to supporting newness of life in our leaders. We’ll hear from the ministers’ children, siblings, spouses and friends! Great breakfast, awesome music and powerful dialogue in a warm, supportive atmosphere where the attire is dress down comfortable.