featured - Tuesday, July 17, 2018

5 tips before ordering from Shein

I’ve worked with some amazing brands, but one brand I am always asked about is Shein . Are they legit? How’s the shipping? Qua...

EssenceFest - Friday, July 13, 2018

Essence Fest 2018

I mentioned before that New Orleans was everything I didn't know I needed. Everywhere I turned there were black powerful women walking ...

#FunDaysWithTot - Thursday, July 12, 2018

Reclaiming my time!

Summer 2018 is truly giving me everything I didn't know that I needed. I decided to go to Essence Festival in New Orleans and w...

What are you believing God for this Quarter? What do you have extreme faith for the next 3 months?

My life has changed drastically, and I couldn’t be more excited and nervous for my future. On June 4th I was let go from my 9-5. To be honest, I was already a bit tired from all of the things that came with working a 9-5. I have served as an Assistant for almost over 13 years. I started corporate at the young age of 20! Tried college a couple of times but I made a decent living working in Corporate, so I stuck with it. I started out as a Receptionist, moved on to an Office Assistant, to Office Manager, to Senior Executive Assistant in my last role. These jobs required so much more than what the job description stated. Support staff is truly the backbone of every single organization created.

But......I WAS TIRED!

I faced many situations in my last position that I legally can’t speak on. The last 3 years of my life I dedicated 40 hours a week to a company. I cried, prayed, and hung on until the end. One huge lesson I’ve learned from this situation is to trust in the LORD! Trusting God and listening to God kept me in perfect peace even when I didn’t understand. The end was sweet.... seriously the end was so SWEET! God showed me that HE is GOD!!!!!! Prayerfully one day I can tell the whole story. I’m not sure what my next chapter looks like. But summer 2018 is mine! I’m not quite ready to be back in a corporate setting so I’ll be praying, creating content and living! This is the first time in my life I will be taking some time to pursue my passion full throttle. {Pray for me saints!!}

Now, let’s get back to the original question! What are you believing God for the 2nd half of 2018? What miracles are you praying for? What do you have extreme faith for in this season? Goals seem to be the buzzword when we enter new seasons, both naturally and spiritually. My prayer is that answering these questions will assist you in developing your goals for Q3!

As for me, I’m praying for miracles in my business, miracles in my finance, and miracles for my relationships, and miracles in my health!! I have faith that God will give me tools to assist people in their journeys to wholeness. I’m praying for the strength and tenacity to execute on the level that God has for me. I’m praying that God keeps me in perfect peace as I wait for my husband to find me. Lbvs! These are just a few of my prayers because the list is lengthy! I will, of course, be using my “Goals and Declarations” workbook to track my progress. Be sure to grab yours for free and if you already have one, it’s the perfect time to pull it out and track your progress. Click here for workbook!

Ephesians 3:20 Amplified Bible (AMP)

Now to Him who is able to [carry out His purpose and] do superabundantly more than all that we dare ask or think [infinitely beyond our greatest prayers, hopes, or dreams], according to His power that is at work within us...

Cheers to the future and beyond!!!! May the next 6 months blow your mind as you trust Jesus Christ for more and more!

All look details can be found on my Instagram for now. Make sure you're following me! www.instagram.com/totallytot3

#FunDaysWithTot - Tuesday, July 03, 2018

What are you believing God for?

What are you believing God for this Quarter? What do you have extreme faith for the next 3 months? My life has changed drastical...

#FunDaysWithTot - Friday, June 22, 2018

Well Hello Shein!!!

Spring 2018 has been eventful to say the least! Here are a few looks served this spring! These looks are from my latest fave and affor...

#FunDaysWithTot - Tuesday, May 01, 2018

Looks served in April!

I can't believe that May is here! GEESH!!!! Where has the time gone? April was a bit of an emotional month for me. In the midst of ...

#SundaysWithTot - Friday, April 06, 2018

Have some GRACE!

Hello, 2nd Quarter! So much to blog about...so little time! Geesh!!! This post will be quick and to the point......have some GRACE!!! W...

Message to the strong friend!

Have you seen that meme floating around social media, the one that says “Check on your strong friend?”

Well, I am here with a message for the strong friend! I think it's time we take a look at who and what we consider to be strong.

How do we determine who the “strong “ friend really is? I believe that the time is now to redefine what stong looks like. Everyone is battling something that you know nothing about or something that you simply can’t relate to. I am here to tell you that we are all the strong friend. Strength looks different on everyone. Each and every person walking this earth has something we are all trying to overcome with strength and with dignity. Challenges do differ based on your calling in life. But, to indicate that there is a “strong friend” means that someone is indeed a “weak friend." And quite honestly, that just doesn’t sit well with me.

So, I have compiled 3 things that I want the "strong" friend to know. Here we go....

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Click here for the sweater!

1. We must understand that it is okay to not be okay. Learn your triggers and have a strategic plan for dealing with your pain. As children, we learn when there is an emergency to call 911. Many of us learn 911 before any other phone numbers. You need a 911 for your emotions. When you are feeling high, low, in between who do you call and what do you say. PLAN FOR THOSE MOMENTS!

2. Your friends can handle YOU!! Divine relationships are very important to me. When you are in a relationship that has been ordained by GOD, you must know that person has the capacity to handle your low moments. Don’t rob your friends of the opportunity of holding you down and praying for you. SPEAK UP and remember it is okay to not be okay.

3. Don’t sit and wait for someone to check on you. Send out an SOS! Say something. Learn to articulate your pain, your hurt, and your disappointments. Sometimes it is hard to speak about it. I totally get it. You can designate an emoji which indicates that all is NOT well in your world. It could be a blue heart, for instance, this emoji could represent as an alert signal for your crew. Tell your friends the emoji and they will know when you send it that you need prayer, dinner, a movie, or simply to be checked on. Another way to alert your friends that you are not okay is word vomit! This one is my personal favorite. I know I have struggled with wanting to shut down and assume that nobody could understand. But, I recognize that is the enemy’s way of keeping me in bondage. So, what do I do….I just SPILL IT!!!! I send texts to my close friends or family disclosing my emotional state. Sometimes it’s just a sentence….I am sad. Sometimes, it’s a paragraph. Either way, I don’t assume that they know unless I tell them.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are times where you may get a random text or call that was just what you needed. Those perfect God curated moments seem to be right on time right? My goal for this post is not to take away from those beautifully supportive moments. My goal is to challenge us all to be more in tune with our own emotional state and how we are handling our emotions. Life happens to the best of us! The fact that you are still living and actually reading this means that you too are the strong friend. I know some of us have experienced more challenges than others, but that’s your story to tell and your testimony to share. BUT…. Don’t isolate yourself as the “strong friend.”

I write this from a place of love. Right now I am about 10 days from what would have been my daughter’s 7^th birthday. I am having some moments right now for real yall. The dark cloud of grief is not easy. I have already sent out a couple of SOS messages requesting prayer. I feel a heavy heart trying to creep in. I am making sure that I am listening to things that uplift my spirit. I let the tears fall as they may, but refuse to be taken in by the grief. Writing this right now is therapeutic for me. I am asking all of my strong friends out there to pray for me during this season. I am the strong friend, you are the strong friend. WE ARE EACH OTHER’S STRENGTH AND JESUS CHRIST IS THE GLUE TO IT ALL.

I LOVE YOU AND THANK YOU FOR READING.

Keep scrolling for outfit deets!

This entire outfit is from Shein! Some people love them and when they sent me these pieces I was in shock of how cute they were. My only warning is to SIZE UP! Now, if you have made it this far I have a deal for you!

Click Here for the site and use my code "total20" for 20% off a $59 purchase.

My jeans can be found by clicking here

Click here for top!

#FunDaysWithTot - Friday, March 23, 2018

Message for the Strong Friend

Message to the strong friend! Have you seen that meme floating around social media, the one that says “Check on your strong friend?...

The celebration continues!!!

In honor of Women's History Month, I am continuing to highlight some amazing women here on the blog. I am blessed by many people, but my family by far is one of my greatest blessings!

Meet my awesome and amazing Auntie Cynthia!!! My Auntie Cynthia is my Mom's older sister. As long as I can remember my Aunt has been such a poised woman. As a kid, I would admire how she walked in heels in hopes that one day I too could strut so gracefully! lol!

On a serious note, I am thankful to that she is sharing parts of her journey.

In her own words....

Staying the Course...

How interesting it is that this is the topic for my expose in your blog!! My affirmation for 2018 is Never Give Up/NGU2018! Thanks for the reminder as we approach the end of the first quarter of 2018 already!!

My life in ministry began as a child being reared in the Pentecostal Church. It was not an option if you served or not. The option was — well sometimes there was an option — where will you serve? So I served in the youth ministry, youth choirs, played trumpet in the church band and Sunday School. Because we lived south and our church was west, we often attended other church activities that other children may not have participated in such as the business meetings. Now, I accepted the Lord as my personal Savior when I was about 9! I received the Holy Ghost with speaking in tongues at age 11. My desire to live for the Lord was passionate!! As a child and even a teen, living for Jesus was fun and interesting. Becoming an adult, I found my life spinning in circles of self-identity, self-worth, and value. I wasn’t sure who I really was. I still passionately loved the Lord and wanted to be who He wanted me to be based on my understanding of Him. Somehow, it wasn’t the same as my earlier years. Pray, fast and read your Bible is what I was taught to get through life's challenges; however, life’s challenges made it seem as if I should fast, pray and read 10 days a week 14 months a year!!

What I learned on this journey is that God really loved Cynthia just as she was — flaws and all! He wasn’t the rigid, angry disciplinarian waiting to crack my knuckles with the ruler or beat me with the belt or kick me into hell. How did I stay the course through ridicule from senior church leaders when I married quickly in an attempt to cover up my imperfections and a premarital pregnancy? How did I stay the course when my marriage failed 5 months in, seemingly proving the church folks right? How did I stay the course trying to identify with adult Cynthia without the “covering and protection” of my protective parents and overprotective spiritual leaders? I never stopped loving the Lord — I never stopped acknowledging His greatness in my life while I went through trials, making lots and lots of errors. I engaged people with impure motives, fell into deep depression, walked away from employment, didn’t complete college, and began to fall prey to government assistance and more.

Thank God for a praying mother!!! Oh, how I miss her but eternally thank God for the days she would come to my apartment and pray for me, pray with me! She rebuked the devil and prayed blood covering over my mind, body, and spirit. It’s interesting as I recall these details that I never considered myself a backslider — because I never ever stopped loving Jesus and didn’t give up my faith. I didn’t understand a lot of the journey but through reading and studying between the highs and lows, I gained a very personal relationship with the Lord. My imperfections continued in a quest for me to exercise compassion and forgiveness with others and to diminish the judgmental attitude I developed in my early walk with the Lord. I remarried my first husband and learned soooo much about myself and him that helps me immensely in ministry today. I remember once saying that certain events of my life were not God-ordained. What I came to realize is that if I hadn’t had those experiences I would not be the woman I am today, walking in the strength and peace of God. The sickness and death of my mother, sickness and death of my first husband, sickness and death of my father have each bred a tenacity of trusting God that I would never have known without those difficult times.

I’ve been in conflictive relationships with church folks, my siblings, and my children. The Lord, thank God, has taught (is teaching) me how to be “the me” He called me to be and stop looking at everyone else. In the words of my dear brother Sconi, “keep the focus on you!!” I never consider myself athletic or competitive; however, I’ve always felt compelled to be a great Christian. Staying the course has meant staying in the face of the Lord, hearing and receiving a relevant Word from Him and being engaged in prayer. So what does the transformation look like? I am true to Cynthia!!! Whew! That’s been a big part of the journey. I enjoy fun, laughter, harmonious relationships and respect for all. So my style of doing things is often different from some traditional norms. This is what has anchored my staying power. I respect and honor who God has created me to be—and I enjoy me and what I do. Lately, I’ve broken through some uncomfortable areas of growing ministry and this continues to grow my trust in God. I’m often reminded to trust God and love people. We have a habit of reversing those principles and becoming gravely disappointed, wounded, hurt and angry. As I learn to follow this process more often than not, my reactions and responses are different and I realize that God is governing my life and emotions. It keeps me staying the course!

Yes, I am human with feelings and emotions but they are not allowed to run me and cause me to run amuck. Proverbs 29:11 basically says that a fool gives full vent to their anger but the wise bring calm in the end. With all that I’m learning, I want to empower others — men, women, boys, girls, young, middle-aged and seasoned — so that the same mistakes aren’t made. My life experiences were/are not “just because;” they are because God has a purpose and plan for my life, to prosper and give me hope and bring me to a great future!

One thing I learned in my journey to truth, outside of traditions, is the unrealistic expectations and demands on the ministry leaders’ families. While everyone else enjoys vacations, sick days and the opportunity to put their families first, many ministry leadership families have been expected to serve and perform in excellence and with their “A” game regardless of personal stuff (family strife, death, illness, financial woes, etc.). Marriages have suffered; ministers’ children have walked away, not just from church, but also from God. Extended families feel neglected, social lives are non-existent or consist of church retreats, ministry luncheons and other church-related activities. And friends...what are those?? Seeing this imbalance while fighting for it in my own life, I always wanted a forum where the ministers’ families could release and rebuild in a safe environment for internal, personal and group healing and restoration.

Click Link Here To Register

The Lord is allowing me to host the first Ministerial Healing Symposium April 14, 2018. The environment will be loving, non-judgmental and comfortable — conducive to supporting newness of life in our leaders. We’ll hear from the ministers’ children, siblings, spouses and friends! Great breakfast, awesome music and powerful dialogue in a warm, supportive atmosphere where the attire is dress down comfortable.