TotallyTot | Creating Innovative Solutions for Everyday Women

I have worked with some amazing brands for my blog but, I get the most questions about Shein!

Click here for top!

I think it's amazing to see my readers finding and curating great looks at affordable prices. Last year I wrote a blog post on tips for shopping with Shein. I think it's about time that I post an updated tips list for you all. Below, you will see how items look on the site and how it looks in real life on me.

My hope is that this blog post will answer lingering questions and assist you in your shopping.

Sooooo, let's get to it!!!

Shein Q&A & other things you should know!

Although I receive my clothes from Shein for marketing and blogging purposes the opinions I share will ALWAYS be honest and my own! I LOVE US FOR REAL!!!

Click here for set!

1. Is Shein Real?

Yes, they are a real fast fashion website. The clothes on the site are the what you get in real life. For this particular blog post, I have added the stock photos shown on their site, next to me actually wearing the items to help.

Click here for jumpsuit!

2. Does Shein fit?
Yes! Shein not only fits, but it fits well. Shein has updated the fit of their clothes and I have found it to be more accurate to American sizes. I typically wear a 1X-2X in my items. (If you are a 14-16, I would suggest a 1X-2X depending on materials.) This jumpsuit is a 2X because I wanted to ensure it fit well. Most of my weight is in my bottom half so I wanted to accommodate these thighs.
Read the reviews and the description for EACH item. Although the sizing is more consistent than it has been, I still suggest reading the reviews. The payoff is major!! You can’t beat the deals and the pieces are a hit!!

3. How long is Shein's shipping?
If you need an item overnight, Shein is NOT your site. On their site it states that standard shipping takes between 6-8 business days, but I have noticed most items arrive within 5 business days. I have noticed Express shipping does take about 4 business days. There have been times items arrive faster, but this has been my typical experience.

4. Do you like Shein?
Believe it or not,I get this question ALL of the time! Here's my honest answer: YES!
Yep, I like Shein for multiple reasons. From a business perspective they are a great company to work with. From a consumer perspective the clothes are on trend with some amazing classics mixed in. It's a great place to shop and the clothes can be worn multiple times. These pieces are NOT 1 time wear items which I can totally appreciate. They sustain washing, cleaning, etc.

5. What's the quality like?
I would say the quality of their clothes may actually surprise you. I would give Shein's items a 7/10 on the quality scale. I have received some items that were 10/10 and other times there may have been an odd lining or lighter weight fabric that took the quality down a bit. Nothing major that would stop me from wearing the brand.

6. Always use a promo code
My last and final tip is to ALWAYS look for a promo code! Always use a promo code for their site. Shein typically has amazing deals that are even better with a promo code. Every time I post a look from Shein, I share my promo code, which changes every season.
My current code “totalq2” expires 6/30/19.

Although I receive my clothes from Shein for marketing and blogging purposes the opinions I share will ALWAYS be honest and my own! I LOVE US FOR REAL!!!

featured - Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Shein Q&A 2019!

I have worked with some amazing brands for my blog but, I get the most questions about Shein! Click here for top! I think it'...

#SundaysWithTot - Tuesday, May 14, 2019

Power Suit

Walking into my next season like..... Ayyyyy!!! I wanted to switch up my hair and have some fun with my personal style and we ende...

SundaysWithTot - Sunday, April 28, 2019

Powerful Connections!

I am so excited for this blog post! Meet Toya, my blogger friend who owns The Fat Girl Of Fashion blog! ( Click here for her jump...

- Thursday, April 18, 2019

Trends!!!

I love this entire look from Shein. It embodies my personal style of mixing current trends with classic pieces. As many of us know anim...

- Thursday, April 18, 2019

Oh,Shein!

Let's talk Shein! I often get question regarding Shein and I love answering them. I enjoy seeing my readers finding and curating great ...

- Thursday, April 18, 2019

Cheers!

Sometimes when things don't go as planned, amazing things can happen! This season has been a season of unexpected lessons and ...

Happy Sunday beautiful people!

I have had an amazing time this month featuring some amazing young women. I am closing out my Women's History month featuring my FRIEND, THE D'WILFORD! D is the perfect way to end my celebration! I wanted to close out with a woman of wisdom, who's a peer and a friend.

I met D last year and we immediately clicked! I mean it was crazy! We decided to do lunch and 4.5 hours later we determined that this was indeed a divine connection. D has been a safe place for me. This woman has covered me in prayer like she's known me my whole life. I knew I wanted her to write about friendship on the blog and she came with it!!!!

In her own words....

Meet D!

I am D’ Wilford,

wife, mom, Pastor, Beauty Guide, and woman’s mentor hailing from The east coast now living in the Chicago land area. I am an advocate for healthy womanhood, spiritual maturity, femininity, beauty, and authentic sisterhood. I’ve had a very unique yet common journey as a woman in friendship and sisterhood and I am here to share one of the greatest lessons I’ve learned. As you read keep in mind that Friendship is a sheltering tree! If you’ve ever felt the sun bearing down on you; and you thought, “if I could just find some shade, I could bear this heat. That’s what a real friend provides. Refuge!

The Friendless Zone

Have you ever gone through a phase in your life where you felt as if you were living aimlessly. You were surrounded by people, yet you felt alone?

Have you ever been drained because of giving so much, yet receiving so little? Yeah, I remember when. . . .

Do you have secrets that you can trust no one with? Are you afraid of being vulnerable with others so much so that you have to pretend that you’re okay and all is well because you don’t like appearing weak? You give some, but not all.

Have you settled for friends? Friends that aren’t as invested. Friends that envy you? Friends that want to be YOU?

Are you friends with them out of convenience and not purpose?

This is what I call the

“friendless zone. “ A zone without true peer level companionship. A zone where all you really have, is YOU. You’ll be surrounded by acquaintances and people you call friend yet have NO REAL COVENANT FRIENDSHIPS!

I have been thinking a lot about friendship lately. About those friendships that us women have with women. The true, real, half, and fake friendships. The different categories those friends fit into, the lessons we learn from them, and the level of proximity they have to us. What determines a friend in general and what classifies a best friend. What seals a sister and so forth. So many of us mistake seasonal friendships for permanent ones and or we mislabel people and give them too much access before they are proven in that role.

At some point all of us are pushed to a place where we must really identify The who’s WHO in our lives. As well as the Who’s NOT! This place often feels like a funeral and a birthday all in the same moment. The reality free’s you. But, it can also greatly grieve you.

However, it is at this place where you learn YOURSELF, identify your circle, and see your village through a clear lens.We live in a society where friendships have been reduced to social media post and photo ops. We rush into relationships before really vetting people.

We live in a society where people connect because of your social status, career, who you post to be, and even your style. In 2019 people will love you with their words but undervalue you with their actions. And loyalty? That’s a whole other blog post!

The friendless zone is a real thing in our society beyond what it appears to be. And there are many among us that are more friendless than they care to admit.

I encounter so many women who live life detached. So many women hurt and fearful loving the idea of sisterhood, but never experiencing the reality of sisterhood. I remember being in my early 20’s surrounded by people but lonely. Yes, I had a little crew and was there when needed. But, I lacked intimacy. I felt like the friend who did all the work without reciprocation.

In many instances I went without the help and support I needed because that’s just what you do when you’re surrounded by needy people or shall I say, people that need you. I made the horrible mistake of befriending women I probably should’ve been mentoring had I been healthier myself. I was struggling in my mind. I was pouring, but broken and miserable. I was carrying my relationships and it was breaking me down. I had a Boo. But he wasn’t a woman. And sure, I was around women that I could hang out with. But, what I was going through required a level of support I didn’t think they had the capacity to give. I positioned myself as their super woman. But, I cried alone, sorted through alone, and barely made it. I’ll never forget the day I had an “AHA” moment where I had to FACE the reality of my life and relationships. I WAS FRIENDLESS and really wasn’t connected to my family either.

The realness of that reality engulfed me and I went into depression. I felt the pain of longing for friendship. I felt the reality of being used and taken for granted. I minimized who I was for the sake of others esteem. I was there longing to receive what I was giving. And even far beyond anything I could give. I knew it would take special persons to befriend me and it mean something. I longed for a safe place. And I wanted to be friends with someone that deserved me!

I got so fed up that it finally dawned on me that I had yet to pray about it. And so I did. I vented to the Lord and I went in deep. I prayed for a certain caliber of friends and decided that I would heal from half and fake friendships so that I could be open and ready for the real. This was the beginning of creating a real village outside of my family.

God began to surround me with strong, secure women. He heard and answered me. I found myself around a few women who were further along in life than I was and those who actually had something to offer. Listen!!! Don’t be afraid to pray for friends. GOD IS GOOD AND WILL SUPPLY WHAT YOU NEED! And I mean exactly what you need.

Great women entered my life one by one. While I felt they were amazing and was excited about the new journey. Their presence revealed something about me that I didn’t know. What was it?!?

I didn’t know how to receive them internally. I was a horrible recipient or shall I say I was a broken recipient. I felt weird. I felt wrong and too vulnerable for even telling them I had a bad day. I was self reliant and I had become so accustomed to being in control as the giver and “strong” friend. I didn’t know how to receive from a strong friend. And I surely didn’t know how to release to one.

It was in those moments I realized I was really AFRAID of trusting someone else with the real ME. I was afraid of being judged. I didn’t know I was worthy of someone really being invested in me. And I didn’t know how to be loved. It was also at that moment that I realized I had personal issues. Those issues had nothing to do with friendship. But everything to do with ME!

The issue was my lack of wholeness, not knowing my worth, not properly tending to myself, and my inability to be open. I was married to fear in a way most people can relate to. It was fear that determined how well I could receive love and have community. I was no longer friendless because no one was capable to give what I needed. I was friendless because I didn’t know how to have a friend. And or how to appreciate different aspects and measures of friendship. I understood my role as the giver. But didn’t quite get it as the receiver. So even with some of the previous relationships that I counted out before the “aha moment.” I had expectations for people to do friendship like me and I failed to learn THEM and or to respect their capacity levels and what they had to offer and or what they would grow to offer.

You have to give your friends room to evolve and flourish beyond your expectations and needs. If they are toxic. . .yes, let them go. But if they are simply unlearned. Step back and let them grow! Not all, but some of those same women from my early 20’s remain in my life and they are some of the strongest relationships I have. One of them is my best friend! And the other is one of the closest persons to me in the world.

Please take this lesson I’ve learned. The friendless zone isn’t to reveal the issues of other women and their inability to be your friend. It isn’t to show you their lack of value and love for you. It’s not to affirm you as the victim. The friendless zone reveals YOU! At that time in my life, it revealed ME!

There are some things you will not know about yourself until someone enters your life and LOVES YOU WELL. There are things you will not know until you broaden your perspective of the world and of people in general. We sometime live life as if our world and circles revolve around us when the reality is WE MUST EVOLVE IN AND WITH THEM!

What determines how great of a friend you are isn’t just how well you give and all that you do and are to them. It is also how well you receive friendship. And how well you receive love, celebration, truth? and affirmation. If you cannot fully receive. You can have capable people near, yet remain FRIENDLESS. You’ll have every excuse of why you can’t trust them not realizing the only real reason is your lack of security that sabotages anything that threatens your self reliance and self sufficiency.

One of the greatest lessons I’ve learned is. . .real friendship kills self reliance and it will dismantle FEAR!

I was healed when I got over myself and allowed someone else to love the worst of me. When I allowed someone else to be my strength, to celebrate me, to uplift, sow into, and pray me through beyond how I thought it should be done. I broke free of fear in relationships when I allowed God to perfectly love me through the gift he gave me called sisters and friends! Inviting others to be a part of your story is in your best interest. And allowing them to be who they are adds to you.

Covenant Friends are graced with a certain capacity level and compatibility that will not only fulfill you but also heal you. Not all will be and give the same thing. But what they can give should be appreciated and honored. You’ll have friends that you run to. Those that will journey with you in the thick of life. You’ll have other friends that you update just to keep them in the know. You’ll have friends that you cry with, and friends that you call when you’re simply ready to have a good time. Some of your friends will bring the best out of you. And others, you will bring the best out of them. Some of your friends will be the strong friend in your life and you’ll be strong friend for others. You will have friends that are further along in life. LEARN FROM THEM! And those you are ahead of. Allow them to learn from you. You’ll have friends that are positioned in your life as intercessors and others may be in need of intercession. There are also instances where it is mutual on every level. One or two will embody all of this for you and others won’t. However, It takes openness, vulnerability, security, and flexibility to really have friends and enjoy the different relationship dynamics.

Make room for people to LOVE YOU! The real you. You deserve it! It’s so easy to be the giver. But it takes humility to be the receiver.

There is a simple truth that I want you to remember. It will always stretch you to be whole and open as you expand your circle. “WHAT YOU EXUDE, YOU WILL DRAW! And what you make room for will make room for you.”

Friendship is powerful. A good friend can help us through adversity and even provide what riches and success cannot.

Life-giving friendships are essential for our health. Developing meaningful, lasting friendships is not a by-product, but is built through intentional, purposed time, vulnerability, investment, loyalty, honesty, communication, consistency, and reciprocity.

IF you are feeling even the tiniest twinge of unspoken “friend-less-ness” today, then I want to reassure you that you are not alone! Every woman's heart longs for deep friendships and close relationships with people they can share life with. Be real about it. Be in love with the idea of having real sisters. Be open and willing to grow

There is a lesson in the friendless zone and for many of you. It’s to see what part of YOU rejects love and friendship. We cannot allow ourselves to be so caught up on the cause that we ignore the effect. It is the effect that hinders forward progression and evolution. We must deal with the effect so that we are not infectious to those around us. There is no rule of how many real friends you’re allowed to have. I now have a village and love the diversity in my sisterhood circle.

Let God bless you with your unbreakable circle. Love on and tend to your soul for you and those around you. Lastly, I pray you find joy and wholeness in womanhood so that you can flourish in sisterhood. And most of all, I pray you SOAR in love so much so that you’re not only giving it but you’re receiving even more.

My beautiful top is from Shein! Use search ID # 576354 for this top, or click here!!

Use my promo code "totalq2" for a special discount!!!

Happy Shopping!!!

#GuestBlogger - Sunday, March 31, 2019

The Friendless Zone! - Meet D' Wilford!

Happy Sunday beautiful people! I have had an amazing time this month featuring some amazing young women. I am closing out my Women's ...

#FunDaysWithTot - Friday, March 29, 2019

Becoming The Woman of God's Dreams - Meet Artyssa!

Can you believe that we are at the end of March? HOW?!?! Well, I have 2 more features for Women's History month! I am still f...

We're still going! All month long I am celebrating young women in honor of Women's History Month.

Today's feature is with the amazing Gracelyn! I met Gracelyn a few years ago and was so inspired by her journey. She's such an inspirational young woman and I could not wait to have her on the blog.

Gracelyn decided that she wanted to do a Q&A and as soon as I started reading her answers I was crying!!

Grab your tissues and read a bit about Gracelyn below:

1. How old are you?

I am 19 years old!

2. What is something that makes you special?

My identity makes me special. My name is Gracelyn. On June 29th, 1999 - I was born 2lbs, 1oz to two parents who believed in the Grace of God. Mom went through so much; blood transfusions, shots, bedrest, allergies to medication, depression, and severe hemorrhaging. The doctors told my parents that if my mom didn't have a blood transfusion, we would both die. This is when I was named “Gracelyn” because my parents said that it was by the “GRACE" of God if I lived. My mom was so sick, tired and worn out that she said to God “If this baby is not born by Tuesday, then I quit”. Sure enough, our Father in Heaven heard her cry and within an hour her contractions started 20 minutes til midnight and I was born that Tuesday morning. Now my name is Gracelyn. My name carries life, power, identity, beauty, strength, and of course- love. I believe with everything in me that the reason why I am who I am is not because of anything that I have said or done- but it is because His Grace is sufficient for me (2 Corinthians 12:9). Someone fought for me, someone paid a price for me, someone suffered for me. This is what Jesus Christ did for me and for you. That is what makes US special. My name is not just a name, it is my identity. God marked me for Him. To live, breath, and do all that I do to glorify Him. I encourage you to find out what your name means, maybe it’s not a positive meaning or maybe it is, but be sure to identify based on who God calls you, not based on what you’ve faced. You are a daughter, you are a son, and you are special, precious, and loved in His sight. (Isaiah 43:4)

3. When did you know you had a special message to share with the world?

In 2016, I began making 2-3 minute inspirational Snapchat stories. I grabbed my phone nearly every day to speak about what God placed in my heart. I spoke a lot about relationships, worth, love, and humanity. There were days that I went to school and was asked if I’d ever considered starting a YouTube channel. I then felt compelled to begin my YouTube channel Gracelyn Sorrell speaking on purity, love, and relationships, I realized that if people were inspired, then I was doing something right. I knew that I had a special message to share with the world well…When I started sharing it. In my process of committing to purity, losing my father, pornography addiction, same-sex assault, bullying, being set apart and so much more- I didn’t understand any of it. I couldn’t seem to comprehend God's thoughts for me when mine were everywhere. I was broken and I couldn’t find the courage to share my story with the world because I couldn’t get past the question that I’d asked God nearly every day, “Why me?" Until one day He said to me, “Why NOT you?” I said okay God, fine- You can use me even IN my pain. He did just that and continues to give me platforms to speak and share what He has placed in my heart.

4. What would you consider your biggest obstacle that you have overcome?

The biggest obstacle that I have overcome was struggling with identity issues. This was not only an obstacle, but it was also a course- a process that you can’t skip to the end to win. It was a process that I’d least expected that I would deal with. It sprung up from being bullied and same-sex assault. My entire life was flipped upside down. I didn’t know who I was, so I accepted who people told me I was. I didn’t know how to get to know other people, so I isolated myself. I didn’t know how to love, so I accepted lust. I didn’t even know what my laugh naturally sounded like, so I tried to sound like everyone else. My perspective was perverted and distorted in every way. My days were cloudy and it felt like the longest storm. Struggling with identity does not only equate to sexual orientation, but identity issues also begin when you don’t feel worthy enough to find the truth. Identity lies in truth and I wasn’t willing to find truth because that meant facing a mirror and confessing that I was broken and needed saving.

5. What do you do for fun?

I SHOP FOR FUN! I don’t shop to splurge, I shop to style. I love to go out and look for cute accessories, and pieces that can go with my current hairstyle or shoes. I love jeans and comfy things but I am definitely getting into more creative looks all while expressing my personality. If I say “OH MY GOSH, LOOOOOK”, It’s probably a yes from me!

6. What is the greatest testimony that you have witnessed?

One of the greatest testimonies that I have witnessed was from a beautiful lady named Tatiana Jones also known as “Totally Tot”. As she lost her baby nearly 8 years ago, I am reminded of strength and perseverance. The strength that it must take for a mother to lose a baby. Tots testimony reminds me of Gods power. Tot couldn’t have controlled what she lost, but God is steering what she will soon discover. Tot has continued to have hope and carry the gift of hope. The power in Tot is a testament to Christ’s love for us, even in pain- He loves. Thank you, Tot.

7. What would you tell someone who wants to live a pure lifestyle and abstain from sex?

To the person who desires to live a pure lifestyle; please know that purity is not “you put your right foot in, you put your right foot out” Noooo, Purity is the consistent progression of your mind, body, and soul. The Bible talks about being lukewarm "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either one or the other! So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.” (Revelation 3:15-16). Dig deeper into knowing what purity truly means and once you commit to purity, give your whole heart. We live a pure lifestyle to see Christ (Matthew 5:8). Like I always say “The Goal is Heaven” and of course always remember that "In a world full of impurity, Purity IS possible.” -Gracelyn Sorrell

8. How do you handle this calling at such a young age?

I handle this calling by daily surrender. I give God a fresh “Yes” every day of my life. I could never ever do it by myself.

9. What keeps you grounded?

My mother keeps me grounded. Her wisdom, truth, and love correct me when I’m wrong and I can admit that she will tell me what I need to hear when I need to hear it. These days, I’m so self-aware that I usually tell her what I’m doing wrong, and she will agree or say “No, you are being too hard on yourself” my mom has shown me the love, compassion and truth of Christ which reminds me that I am nothing and He is everything.

Website: GracelynSorrell.com

Instagram: @GracelynSorrell

YouTube: Gracelyn Sorrell

Recent feature on Gracelyn

My entire look is from Shein! Click here for my top, click here for my skirt!

Use my promo code "totalq2" for a discount on all Shein orders!

#GuestBlogger - Sunday, March 24, 2019

Meet Gracelyn! Talking purity plus more w/ Gracelyn

We're still going! All month long I am celebrating young women in honor of Women's History Month. Today's feature is wi...

The celebration continues! All month long for Women's History month,

I am celebrating young women who are truly inspirational!

I first met Makayla Cephus last October. I happened to be in a room with her Mother and some other friends and they were watching her on FB Live. She was transparently telling her story of depression and her journey with it.

I was floored by her honesty and intrigued by her story. I immediately knew I wanted her on the blog. There's something so powerful about finding your voice and using it for the Kingdom of God! Makayla, at the mere age of 21 has done both! She fearlessly shares her journey and even has a book out out now. As I do with all of my guest bloggers, I invited Makayla to share with my readers....

In her own words:

I, Makayla Cephus, am here to tell you that you don't have to deal with depression and suicidal thoughts alone and it's never too late to give God your "Yes!"

My book is dedicated to those who currently battle depression and are tormented by suicidal thoughts. I desire to lead the parade in breaking the silence on such a horrendous emotional experience which can cripple and stagnant a life, if left untreated.

There are many who are suffering alone!
I was ignited and inspired by observing other moms who’ve experienced depression on a wide, diverse spectrum; including postpartum. Those heroic women gave me the courage to tell my story, in hopes that others will be fueled to tell their stories,
so, we all can gain strength.
With increased strength, we all win!

I was once that 17 year old girl who became a pregnant teen less than a month of being away at college, feeling as if it was the end of the world. I turned in my dorm room key around 1:30am Saturday morning, to move back home to Chicago IL, realizing that in life, it was no longer about me. Also, I needed to be around love and being so far away from my family took that feeling away from me. I worked and enrolled into a community college! Towards the end of my pregnancy, I was fired from my job and kicked out of school due to an $14,000 University debt. It was so hard for me to find a job that would fit my son and I availability and relying on government assistance was never to be apart of my plans. Of course my parents helped and coached me through my pregnancy, but in my heart, a roof over our head was more than enough to be thankful for!

I didn’t know exactly what postpartum was until I found myself crying all the time, disconnecting myself from my child, hanging with the wrong crowd and making drug use my escape from all of my problems. I was battling with demons in my head alone. I didn’t know how to explain what I was going through, so I dealt with it alone and suffered. In attempt of suicide, my plans to kill myself failed. Instead, I was able to hear God’s voice for direction when I thought he had given up on me from numerous mistakes ago. I’ve been forgiven, cleansed, made new and here today to tell you, you too can start over.

You can purchase your “There’s Life After Depression” to read the full story, beginning to end.

www.makaylamcephus.com

To my son, I’ve rejected you from the womb when I didn’t know any better. What I thought was a mistake turned to be my life’s biggest blessing. You have grown with me through the traumatic phases of my life to the better. You have taught me patience, virtue and worth. I break any rejection spirit, identity crisis, word curse or bloodline curse off of you. You are loved! You are a genius. You are vocal. You are a leader. You will do many great things in the earth. I am proud to be your Mommy!