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We are right in the middle of winter 2017 and I am like where did the time go?? The holidays were indeed rough for me and I feel like I am just now truly beginning to feel like myself again. Grief takes a toll on you for real, and it’s when you least expect it too. My Grandfather’s passing last fall took a toll on me in ways that I never could have imagined. The reality that I only have one Grandparent alive is really still unbelievable. The reality that my Grandfather never got to see me in a successful marriage with children hurts. Sometimes you just want to make your elders proud, you know? I was not extremely close to my Grandfather so all of these emotions knocked me off of my feet a bit. Then, just when I thought I could walk again, the man that my Mother had been dating for over 5 years passed away suddenly! WO!!!! Fall 2016 was proving to be a LOT to deal with. I just wanted to be whatever my Mother and family needed during this time. My Mother took 2 major losses within 2 months. TOTALLY DEVASTATING! Now, life settles again and all should be falling in place. Then, as we entered the week of Thanksgiving, grief hit me like a ton of bricks. I mean knocked me out! I was trying my best to pray, talk to my accountability partners, attend church services, and everything else that I knew but nothing was truly helping. I moved forward with my first Tot Talks which was a total success but after that, the sadness kicked in again. The month of December was tough. I missed my angel Farah like I had just held her yesterday. #FOREVERFARAH I missed her face. I wanted my child. I wanted my Grandfather. I wanted to apologize for not being a better granddaughter. I wanted my Mother to be happy again. I wanted to see her with her bae living it up as they always did. I wanted a normal happy life and in reality, nothing was normal or would be normal again. See, after death, there’s this thing I like to call your “new normal” that you must adjust to. It’s not fun at all! UGH! I am constantly adjusting to my “new normal” and learning daily what that exactly means and what that actually looks like. The only thing that I know for sure is that GOD has truly kept me during all of this. HE REALLY HAS! Whenever I feel unbelievably weak, I am reminded that HE IS STRONG! I must remember that God is in control and that HE has everything I need, even the comfort for missing my loved ones.

I thank God for my family and friends because even in the midst of all of this happening I had some pretty awesome days and experiences. So, today, I figured I would do a recap of what I have been rocking so far this winter. I have been keeping it simple since I have been pretty emotional but simple and cute works for me! P.S. I did not intend to go into this much detail on this post. I was just going to post some clothes pics. Lol! But as I started typing I just felt I had to keep sharing. Transparency helps you heal. :)

Now for the fun........

Sneakers and popping coats is the move for this winter! This coat is my absolute FAVORITE! I searched everywhere for it. You can find it here!

Both sneakers are Air Jordan 1's. The Red Velvet are from the "Heiress" collection that dropped recently. The royal blue are an amazing patent leather material making them stand out perfectly!

Christmas Day fun! Oversized sweaters are bae! This oversized sweater and OTK boot were a perfect and comfortable combo for Christmas day.

NYE Babayyy! New Year's Eve I spent at church! As much as I love sequins and being super formal, I decided to go for a chill and less formal look. Well kind of! hahaha! This cape blazer is EVERYTHING! It can be found here!

The skater dress came just in time from Gwynnie Bee!

Easy and breezy Sunday looks for the win!! Who says you can't rock your bright colors in the winter??

I am so in love with these boots that I want to wear them everyday. lol! They are from Asos.com!

Black, White. Pink. Yes, I rocked my white distressed jeans in December! Who gonna check me boo? lol! The pink cape I scored on super sale from The Limited as they were going out of business.

I paired the white jeans with this super cute French Connection sequins sweatshirt for a semi-dressy look. The jeans are from my secret awesome place for jeans....American Eagle Outfitters. Curvy girls, our sizes are sold online only. You won't be disappointed if you snag a pair.

This denim jumpsuit is super fun! It is from Curvy Girl Style boutique.

Just because chill days are the best days!

Peace & Love!

#SundaysWithTot - Thursday, February 09, 2017

Living my New Normal

We are right in the middle of winter 2017 and I am like where did the time go?? The holidays were indeed rough for me and I feel like I ...

Can you believe that Thanksgiving 2016 is here already? Where did this year go?!

We are in full swing of the holiday season and everything seems to move at lightning speed at this time of year. Dinners are being served, gifts are being given, and many are doing this all while grieving. Grief is so real and has the ability to take you out if you let it. Today I wanted to share a few scriptures for those who may be mourning loved ones during this holiday season. These scriptures have comforted me during my times of sadness. I find hope in Jesus on this day. I pray that they bless you as they have blessed me.

Today I am saying an extra prayer for those who are having a hard time today missing their loved ones. Facing a holiday without a loved one is extremely difficult but God is still GOD. I choose to be thankful for the memories and I encourage you to do the same. I thank God for keeping me and my family during our times of sadness. I must admit, I cried some today, missing my loved ones and as always my daughter Farah. But today, I chose to be thankful. Thankful for LIFE. Thankful for this blog. Thankful for my readers. Thankful for my journey and my testimony. I am simply THANKFUL! I give God ALL of the glory for keeping me!!!!!

This post is dedicated to everyone in the struggle missing someone during this time.

Peace & Love

#ForeverFarah, my angel baby. I am forever missing that sweet face.

I dedicate this post to my Mom, Aunts, Uncles, and cousins as we have just lost my Grandfather in September to a battle with dementia, he joined my Grandmother in heaven.

And finally......

I want to dedicate this post to my Mommy who just lost her beau and confidant to a heart attack.

Long live the creative Andre "Sconi" Smith!

Holidays - Thursday, November 24, 2016

Grief & Gratitude

Can you believe that Thanksgiving 2016 is here already? Where did this year go?! We are in full swing of the holiday season and e...

I am so excited to share something I've been working on.

My "Message of Love" tees are now available for purchase on Teespring.

I have 9 designs available in multiple colors and sizes for both men and women. I really hope you like them! Let me know your favorite by leaving a comment below.

Thank you!!

All shirts can be purchased by clicking here.

MessageofLove - Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Message of Love Tees

I am so excited to share something I've been working on. My "Message of Love" tees are now available for purchas...

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TotallyTot | Creating Innovative Solutions for Everyday Women

Tot has channeled her love for people into a lifestyle of helping others help themselves. She covers topics from fashion to faith leaving women empowered with the tools and resources to fearlessly pursue their goals. As a Creative Life Stylist, Tot helps people identify their strengths, motivates people to move past their fears, and walks people through their unique creative processes. Browse, leave a comment, and subscribe. For Tot, to blog is to Share, to Connect, to Create and to Inspire!