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Living and Loving after Losing - Let's talk about it!

Wednesday, April 27, 2016

Are you living and loving after losing?

I had the honor of being a part of an amazing web discussion on bouncing back after loss. The lovely Chante Truscott from Wives in Waiting  invited me to be a part of this amazing chat. This discussion was specifically touching on the topics of losing children and women battling with infertility. I was thrilled to share my story about my baby Farah and even more excited to share my journey to living and loving after losing. If interested yo can watch the entire conversation below.

Although the above discussion was very specific, I believe that anyone who has suffered loss can benefit from the things that I will share in this blog post.  If you are out there going through any kind of loss or even a transition in your life I pray that the peace of God will overtake you. 

I recently shared that I have been separated since November but as of March 18th my divorce became final. Now back to single life. EEK! What I have learned is that some of the same things I had to do when I lost my daughter are very similar to things that I am doing now. Don’t get me wrong, death stings much deeper but the process to healing and being whole has many of the same steps for me. I wanted to share a few of those steps below but first.......

We must understand that:
Living and loving after losing is a CHOICE!


If you are still reading this you have decided to live and love again!!!

The process to living and loving again from a healthy heart takes time and GOD! Here's a few things to consider as you bounce back from loss:

1.    It’s okay to NOT be okay. 
Many times people can feel so guilty for feeling down. Listen, we were created with emotions!! You can't avoid feelings, but you can avoid getting stuck in them. 5 years later, I still miss my baby, I still cry, I still have moments, but I refuse to allow the spirit of heaviness to take root in my heart. 

2.    Keep a journal 
Journals are like the most awesome thing everrrrr!!!! lol! Write, Write, Write! Writing down your thoughts are always therapeutic, but even more helpful when you are on the journey to wholeness. Journals are also awesome growth trackers! Trust me when I tell you, you will look back and be shocked with your growth. 

3.    Talk about it
I mention here  the support group that I would go to that was life changing for me. This group met once a month and I poured out my heart at these meetings. I did not know anyone there but we all shared our experiences from losing our babies.  This particular support group was with the hospital where I had my child. Don't be afraid to google some support groups in your area. Talking is healthy when learning to live and love again after losing. 

4.    This is BIGGER THAN YOU!!!
I know, in the middle of pain that is the last thing that you would want to hear. But seriously, every struggle, every transition, every ounce of pain you have felt has PURPOSE! Trust that God is allowing this, so that HE can get the glory out of your life. How else would our faith grow if we did experience some sort of loss?  Remember, it is only a miracle if something miraculous happens! So, all of your lows are prepping you for some pretty HIGH HIGHS!!!  Trust that God is building and strengthening you. So, when you are whole and healthy and living and loving again you can tell the world about the GOD that you serve!!!!!! 

Here are some previous posts that share more on my journey to wholeness. Even if you have not suffered a great loss and life is great,  the journey to wholeness is always a great journey to be on. 

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