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Message for the Strong Friend

Friday, March 23, 2018

Message to the strong friend!

Have you seen that meme floating around social media, the one that says “Check on your strong friend?”

Well, I am here with a message for the strong friend! I think it's time we take a look at who and what we consider to be strong.  

How do we determine who the “strong “ friend really is? I believe that the time is now to redefine what stong looks like.  Everyone is battling something that you know nothing about or something that you simply can’t relate to.  I am here to tell you that we are all the strong friend. Strength looks different on everyone. Each and every person walking this earth has something we are all trying to overcome with strength and with dignity. Challenges do differ based on your calling in life. But, to indicate that there is a “strong friend” means that someone is indeed a “weak friend." And quite honestly, that just doesn’t sit well with me. 

So, I have compiled 3 things that I want the "strong" friend to know. Here we go....

1. We must understand that it is okay to not be okay. Learn your triggers and have a strategic plan for dealing with your pain. As children, we learn when there is an emergency to call 911. Many of us learn 911 before any other phone numbers. You need a 911 for your emotions. When you are feeling high, low, in between who do you call and what do you say. PLAN FOR THOSE MOMENTS!

2. Your friends can handle YOU!! Divine relationships are very important to me. When you are in a relationship that has been ordained by GOD, you must know that person has the capacity to handle your low moments. Don’t rob your friends of the opportunity of holding you down and praying for you. SPEAK UP and remember it is okay to not be okay. 

    3. Don’t sit and wait for someone to check on you. Send out an SOS! Say something. Learn to articulate your pain, your hurt, and your disappointments. Sometimes it is hard to speak about it. I totally get it. You can designate an emoji which indicates that all is NOT well in your world. It could be a blue heart, for instance, this emoji could represent as an alert signal for your crew. Tell your friends the emoji and they will know when you send it that you need prayer, dinner, a movie, or simply to be checked on.  Another way to alert your friends that you are not okay is word vomit! This one is my personal favorite. I know I have struggled with wanting to shut down and assume that nobody could understand. But, I recognize that is the enemy’s way of keeping me in bondage. So, what do I do….I just SPILL IT!!!! I send texts to my close friends or family disclosing my emotional state. Sometimes it’s just a sentence….I am sad. Sometimes, it’s a paragraph. Either way, I don’t assume that they know unless I tell them. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. There are times where you may get a random text or call that was just what you needed. Those perfect God curated moments seem to be right on time right?  My goal for this post is not to take away from those beautifully supportive moments. My goal is to challenge us all to be more in tune with our own emotional state and how we are handling our emotions. Life happens to the best of us! The fact that you are still living and actually reading this means that you too are the strong friend. I know some of us have experienced more challenges than others, but that’s your story to tell and your testimony to share. BUT…. Don’t isolate yourself as the “strong friend.”

I write this from a place of love. Right now I am about 10 days from what would have been my daughter’s 7th birthday. I am having some moments right now for real yall. The dark cloud of grief is not easy. I have already sent out a couple of SOS messages requesting prayer. I feel a heavy heart trying to creep in. I am making sure that I am listening to things that uplift my spirit. I let the tears fall as they may, but refuse to be taken in by the grief. Writing this right now is therapeutic for me. I am asking all of my strong friends out there to pray for me during this season. I am the strong friend, you are the strong friend. WE ARE EACH OTHER’S STRENGTH AND JESUS CHRIST IS THE GLUE TO IT ALL.


Keep scrolling for outfit deets!

 This entire outfit is from Shein! Some people love them and when they sent me these pieces I was in shock of how cute they were. My only warning is to SIZE UP! Now, if you have made it this far I have a deal for you!

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